Tuesday, September 20, 2011
"Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever." by Caissie St. Onge
For someone who had, prior to that week, never broken a school rule, I'd sure made up for it in two days. I'd become a one-woman crime wave! Okay, maybe just a one-girl minor-infraction machine. Still, I'd gotten pretty bold.
What do you think of when you hear "vampire"? Do you think, fabulous life style? Do you think, sexy undead creature who will never die? Do you think, Dracula?
You probably don't think, "Blood intolerant, flat chested, teenage girl from the Dust Bowl who is forced to live to eternity".
So, basically, you don't think of Jane Jones.
Jane's life is pretty wacked up. She's lived for years, moving around with her family, who just happen to also be vampires. Her brother is a genius, but forced to be a preteen forever. Her dad works long hours during the day (eesch), for minimal pay. Her mom wants to do her best for her daughter, but doesn't really know how, and Jane?
If Jane's life sounds weird as it is, what's the adjective when
1. Her favorite teacher starts acting strangely
2. She's accused of being bullimic
3. Two boys, one alive one vampire, fall for her simultaneously
4. She finds a "cure for vampirism"?
Something sharp hit me right between the eyes and before I knew what was happening, I was on the floor defending my life. When I finally got the better of my attacker, I stood up and discovered, to my horror, I 'd been fighting with a pair of antique skis and a long moth-eaten wool robe that had fallen on me from what I now saw was an overstuffed closet.
This was a pretty... interesting book. Unusually, I actually found it humorous, and I enjoyed it. I liked the fact that Jane wasn't fabulously beautiful or rich, but on the other hand, I also think that that card has been played a little two often in the past few years. This is definitely not "good literature" but I don't think I lost any brain cells from reading it. I'd recommend it only as a "I'm bored what can I read" sort of book, or when you've read a big heavy book and need some fluff to recover from it. Or, you know, if you love vampires of all forms and are just looking for another book to read.
Also, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone who can't take any jabs at the myths of vampires, vampire slayers, or teenagers.