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Showing posts with label ROFL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ROFL. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

"It's a Mall World After All" by Janette Rallison


Chapter two of my dissertation: "You Can Meet All Sorts of Interesting People at the Mall." Don't talk to them though, as this just encourages them to talk back to you. Talking leads to trouble. Most wars, divorces, and political elections happen after a lot of talking. When at the mall, it's best to pretend you're mute. Or from another country. A country of mutes, for example.
Charlotte has learned a lot from working at the mall. From her position as the "perfume-lady"... the person who spritzes pointless perfume on people... she can see half way across the entire mall. She's learned that "Relationships with guys are a lot like shopping." She's learned to tell who is depressed and who's planning to win the lottery to get by in life... just by what they buy at the mall.
She's also learned that her best friend Brianna's boyfriend is cheating on her.
Charlotte goes and tells her friend, and at first it looks like it'll all end out well enough. Brianna will dump the jerk, and Charlotte with be hailed as a hero.
Uh... until Bryant (the cheating boyfriend) somehow convinces Brianna that it was all just a big misunderstanding.
Suddenly, Charlotte's the enemy, but she's not about to just sit there and let Bryant get away with it. Why would she? She knows the truth. She's going to get the moral high ground... no matter what.
The problem is, everyone seems to be against her. Evidence keeps piling up in both her favor, and Bryants, and with Bryant's best friend, Colton, aiming to keep Charlotte from finding out the truth, the job's harder than she thought.
Luckily, Charlotte's prepared.
Colton leaned toward me across the table. "Yes, we know what service projects are," he said, "because you keep making us do them. This year alone we've bought books for the library, done a canned food drive, and volunteered at a soup kitchen, where-I might add- some homeless women tried to hit on me."
"She was a harmless old lady," I said.
"She told me I was the reincarnation of her dead husband, kept calling me Phil, and tried to follow me home."
This book had the most stupid premise ever. I picked it up at the library and went, "wow. That sounds stupid." But I had read My Fair Godmother, by Janette Rallison, and even though it was going against my better book judgment, I brought it home.
And wow, I'm glad I did.
This book, although it didn't have the most promising premise, was funny, witty, and interesting. (As my mom would say, "Good writing makes up for a bad premise.") I would give this book five stars, and definitely recommend it to a girl who needs a laugh. :)

Friday, June 12, 2009

Arthur And The Minioys and Arthur And The Forbidden City


Arthur And The Minimoys
"His parents began to sing together - "Happy birthday to you!" Arthur hang up, almost without emotion. It occurred to him that there was more life at the end of his bamboo pole than at the end of this telelphone line.
He looked at his dog, sitting expectantly in front of him, awaiting the news.
"It wasn't the president of the water company" said Arthur.


At the time this book takes place, Arthur is spending his summer at Grandma's. However, times are rough, and the greedy man, Davido, is threatening to evict Grandma if she can't find some money to pay him with. Before her husband, Archibald, dissapered, he supposedly hid the rubies which an african tribe had give him. Desperate to find them, Arthur looks in his Grandpa's study, only to find a riddle hidden behind a banner. He follows the instructions, and soon he finds himself in the land of the Minimoys, a tiny tribe of people who live unnoticed beneath the ground. He meets many characters, the king, the prince, and Princess Selenia to name a few. Now, I don't want to spoil anything, so I think I'll stop there. (by the way, this book ends right as it get exciting, so you might want to have the other book ready.)
Arthur And The Forbidden City
Arthur peered into the hole once more.
suddenly an object glistened. The first ruby at the top of the pyramid had just found the light.
Little by little, the saucer rose, carried by the water, and the pyramid became increasingly illuminated.
This book takes place where the other one leaves off. In this book Arthur and Selenia, oh, lets not forget the prince, they battle M. The cursed, and win. (you probably guessed that.) But how they do it, I will leave that a mystery. as you can see from the quote, the story ends happily ever after, almost. While he is down under earth, Selenia kisses Arthur, which in the world of Minimoys, means they're married, and, some of Selenia's powers transfer to Arthur.
What I thought
OMIGOSH. People, these books litterally earn the award ROFL!!! (I have now made thatan award to give out on this blog.) but OMG. Read these books!!! I think they were some of the funniest books ever written. I would give them each five stars.