"Geek Fantasy Novel" by E. Archer

As any aeronautical engineer will confirm, fairies do remarkably well in unicorn-drawn carriage crashes. Their strategy is simple: Keep to the center of teh carriage and fly with quivalent speed against the rapidly decreasing velocity of the vehicle.

Ralph Stevenson has been taught never to wish for anything. As anyone will tell him, wishes are dangerous and should therefore be avoided. As an extreme geek growing up being teased by his peers, he has also learned not to mingle with people.
So Ralph focuses on his video game designing.
When he is suddenly jerked out of his day to day life by an invitation to go visit his relatives in Europe, his parents immediately say no. But Ralph has other ideas, and soon sneaks off to visit his odd British relatives.
But that's not all...
Ralph is soon whisked away into magical lands where bunny rabbits explode, where narrators mess with the story line, where teddy bears work as headsets, and where you never exactly know what's going to happen next.
Not even the narrator.

Prisoners magically trapped beneath planks of flooring do moderately well. The otherwise death-hastening wood serves like the lap restraint on a roller coaster.

I really did like this book a lot. It was some random novel that my mom picked up at the Salvation Army and gave to me one day at piano lessons. The name is interesting, and the synopsis/back cover are as well. This book was original, it was witty, it was funny, it was clever, and it was geeky.
The concept in particular was fascinating, and I don't think I've ever seen a book where this has been done before... Not to mention the fact that the characters are simply brilliant. I loved them all. Even Chessie. Even the narrator.
Maybe particularly the narrator?
Either way, this was an amazing book.

Axe-wielding duchesses, however, make out substantially worse. And unfortunately, an axe-wielding duchess careening about a carriage is a problem for everyone.

"The Falcon" by Jackie French Koller

"Sure." I heard Jim's pen scribbling again. "Our time's about up anyway. Just one more question, though. Do you have any idea why so many unusual things happen to you?"
"Yeah," I snarled. "God hates me."

Luke Carver is a 17 year old who can't seem to help getting in trouble. Every time he goes anywhere, he seems to get in trouble. He messes up so many times that it sure seems like God hates him. After all, how else would he get into such wacky, horrible situations?

Luke has secrets, though. There are things he hasn't told anyone. He hasn't even told his journal the full truth. After all, if it isn't his fault, why does he have to tell anyone?

"Yes," I said quietly. "I'm fine." Then I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the seat. I was tired, too. So, so tired...
Just like I am now.

This was one of the shortest books I think I've read. It was, strangely, also one of the most interesting. It was one of those books where you think that it's not going to be that gripping, but then you find yourself wondering, throughout the day, what's going to happen next.

I really liked the way that the author pulled out the mystery of what happened to Luke before the book started. It was really interesting, even though it wasn't as "dark" as they made it out to seem. It was interesting, though.

I would actually recommend this book to anyone who really liked The Catcher in the Rye, mostly because the writing style seemed quite similar to me, and it's about the same sort of aged guy.

All in all- pretty good of a book.

"Paper Towns" by John Green

"Quentin Jacobsen has spent a lifetime loving the magnificently adventurous Margo Roth Spiegelman from afar. So when she cracks open a window and climbs back into his life–dressed like a ninja and summoning him for an ingenious campaign of revenge–he follows. After their all-nighter ends and a new day breaks, Q arrives at school to discover that Margo, always an enigma, has now become a mystery. But Q soon learns that there are clues–and they’re for him. Urged down a disconnected path, the closer he gets, the less Q sees of the girl he thought he knew."-goodreads

"The town was paper, but the memories were not."

In this edition of 'Sometimes Cat likes Contemporary', she falls hard for a book called "Paper Towns" by John Green. Not remarkable on the surface. The cover has a thumbtack on it and thumb tacks are cool but thumbtacks don't say, 'HEYTHISBOOKTHISBOOKTHISBOOKIT'SAMAZING'. The quote above about towns that are paper, or paper towns, that's amazing, right? It's good. It's SO good. This book. Too good. Written beautifully, oh so magnificently so. SO MANY quotable things in "Paper Towns" too. I figured it would be good, because of a few reasons: everyone seems to love John Green and his epic-nerdness and what isn't to love about epic nerd-ness? Nothing. Also, the vlogbrothers videos are excellent and nerdy and cool, and DFTBA (Don't Forget to be Awesome) and stuff. But mainly, last year my friend KT was talking about this book and was like, 'YOUNEEDTOREADTHISBOOK' and I was kind of like, 'yeah, I should do that sometime!' but mostly it left my mind. I was re-interested in reading it because of all the talk about "The Fault in Our Stars", Green's upcoming novel, and borrowed it from her and oooh I loved it. 

First, I loved the characters. I loved Quentin and his weirdness and his tendency to be timid and how he thought Margo was so awesome in the true sense of the word awesome. I liked his friends and how he had real life teenage friend relationships and how sometimes you have weird friends and that's okay and when it comes down to it your friends are there for you and you'd die for them and them you, probably. I liked Margo Roth Spiegalman and her epic-ness and how she has the name Margo Roth Spiegalman and how her full name in its Margo Roth Spiegalman glory is used casually in the book just because she's Margo Roth Spiegalman. I appreciated her clever escapades and her willfulness to live by her own agenda and taking charge. I liked that she roped Quentin into her master plan and as that's going you begin to see her vulnerability and the true Margo Roth Spiegalman and not just the idea that Quentin and everyone else has of Margo Roth Spiegalman. I also like that I just used her name like 6 times and I'm okay with that. I like that this book has such a crisp and unique oh-so-very realistic and clever voice and it's addictive. I like that this book is forcing me to write a review where I break all kinds of grammatical rules because it's inappropriate that I just used the word 'and' so many times but I don't mind because that's the way I feel about this book.

What I'm saying is, "Paper Towns" broke some rules for me, but that was great and it was great otherwise as well. It made me use "and" so many times in this review that it should be illegal. It made me be in awe of a character with a name like Margo Roth Spiegalman and it was awesome. It had nerd-ness and fabulous adjectives. There was an epic road trip (two, if you count the first adventure), and it wasn't even that cliche even thought it should've been. It introduced me to the concept of paper towns in more ways than one, and a fabulous little place in New York called Agloe and its overwhelming population count of one.

"Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever." by Caissie St. Onge

For someone who had, prior to that week, never broken a school rule, I'd sure made up for it in two days. I'd become a one-woman crime wave! Okay, maybe just a one-girl minor-infraction machine. Still, I'd gotten pretty bold.

What do you think of when you hear "vampire"? Do you think, fabulous life style? Do you think, sexy undead creature who will never die? Do you think, Dracula?
You probably don't think, "Blood intolerant, flat chested, teenage girl from the Dust Bowl who is forced to live to eternity".
So, basically, you don't think of Jane Jones.

Jane's life is pretty wacked up. She's lived for years, moving around with her family, who just happen to also be vampires. Her brother is a genius, but forced to be a preteen forever. Her dad works long hours during the day (eesch), for minimal pay. Her mom wants to do her best for her daughter, but doesn't really know how, and Jane?
Esh.
If Jane's life sounds weird as it is, what's the adjective when
1. Her favorite teacher starts acting strangely
2. She's accused of being bullimic
3. Two boys, one alive one vampire, fall for her simultaneously
4. She finds a "cure for vampirism"?

Something sharp hit me right between the eyes and before I knew what was happening, I was on the floor defending my life. When I finally got the better of my attacker, I stood up and discovered, to my horror, I 'd been fighting with a pair of antique skis and a long moth-eaten wool robe that had fallen on me from what I now saw was an overstuffed closet.

This was a pretty... interesting book. Unusually, I actually found it humorous, and I enjoyed it. I liked the fact that Jane wasn't fabulously beautiful or rich, but on the other hand, I also think that that card has been played a little two often in the past few years. This is definitely not "good literature" but I don't think I lost any brain cells from reading it. I'd recommend it only as a "I'm bored what can I read" sort of book, or when you've read a big heavy book and need some fluff to recover from it. Or, you know, if you love vampires of all forms and are just looking for another book to read.

Also, I wouldn't recommend this book to anyone who can't take any jabs at the myths of vampires, vampire slayers, or teenagers.

"The Wizard, the Witch, and Two Girls from Jersey" by Lisa Papademetriou

They had disappeared. All that was left was the copy of Queen of Twilight and two smoking coals.
The clerk stared for a minute, then did the only reasonable thing he could think of. He pressed a button on the intercom.
"We need a cleanup in the checkout aisle," he said.

What would you do if you were transported into a fantasy book with someone you were completely different from?
That's the situation that Heather and Veronica, two teenage girls, find themselves in when they both reach for the same copy of the school's assigned reading... The Queen of Twilight.
Suddenly, they're transported into a magical world.
And let's just say their journey doesn't start out so well.

After accidentally killing the heroine of the book, they're left in a pickle. Only one person can get them out of the book, and back home... But he doesn't get his powers back until the end of the (Real) book... And who knows how that's going to work now that the plot has already changed?
The only way to get out?

To play along to the end.
But as they try to battle the evil Queen of Twilight and her sisters, the Duchess of Breakable Objects and the Countess of Uncomfortable Humidity, they might find out that appearences can decieve...

"My, you dwarves have such cultured phrases," Chanttergee told Veronica s he listened to her, wide-eyed. "Would you teach Chattergee some of your foreign tongue?"
At that, Veronica unleashed some of her most creative and colorful expletives, which caused the squirrel to gasp in admiration and burst into applause.

DO read this book if you enjoy silliness.
DON'T read this book if you take your fantasy novels seriously.
DO read this book if you enjoy a quick read.
DON'T read this book if you get offended by people making fun of teenagers.
Because all of these things feature quite strongly in the book.

I, for one, rather enjoyed this book. Sure, sometimes both of the girls got on my nerves. Sure, it sort of annoyed me about the jabs at D&D being a "geek" game (even though it is).
But all in all?
It was really entertaining, and a fast read.
Everything that YA books dream of becoming...

"Repossessed" by A.M. Jenkins

"Shaun... did something happen today? Anything out of the ordinary?"
Well, Shaun died, but other than that...
"Nope," I told Shaun's mom. "It' s just been a normal, regular day."

Kiriel doesn't like the term "demon". It's far too negative. He prefers "Fallen Angel", which is the proper technical term, anyway.
Though he doesn't really enjoy his job, either.
Kiriel isn't an "important" demon... His job is simply to reflect misery back onto the souls in hell. That's all. Nothing more important.
The big guy hasn't even paid any attention to him. Only important fallen angels get attention from God.
And trouble makers.

When Kiriel discovers that hell doesn't blow up when he doesn't do his job, he decides to take a vacation. It's not like he's ever had one before... Who cares if it's technically against the rules? Maybe it'll get him some notice in the end.

So he steals a body. The boy who it used to belong to was barely using it anyway, so what does it matter that he takes over for a few days?

Through the body of Shaun, a typical slacker highschooler, Kiriel discovers what it's like to be a human. And he likes it.
But how long does he have before the body is "repossessed"?

Whatever the reason, they punish themselves. I merely oversee; I don't actually do anything about anything.
Mine is a useless occupation.

I really liked this book. It was a very interesting point of view, reading from the head of a demon. Surprisingly, although Kiriel decides to see what's so enjoyable about sinning, he seemed to be one of the more innocent characters in the book. He had a very interesting outlook on the life he leads in Shaun's body, and I actually ended up agreeing with his points.
So, I think the author did very well making him a relatable character.

Besides that, it was just a very interesting book. Some of the themes can be carried over and related to our own lives... Especially us teens. You know, the whole, "my place isn't important," "my job isn't important" "no one notices me", and all that crap.

I also liked how it made fun of teenagers, and our lives.

You have to be warned however, that there are quite a few mentions of sex in this book, and some swearing. So if those sorts of things concern you, I wouldn't read this book.

"Supernaturally" (Paranormalcy, #2) by Kiersten White

(The description for this book is spoiler-y for the first book. If you wish to view it anyway and find out more information, check out the goodreads page here. This review might also contain spoilers for the first book, "Paranormalcy". I suggest you read that review (linked) instead if you haven't yet read it. YOU ARE WARNED.)

"Paranormalcy" was SO fun and awesome-mazing (that is not a word, that is my, er... creative license?). Obviously, any book that practically makes fun of the paranormal creatures and their stereotypes that we love (and love to hate) and has a main character that dreams of having a locker rather than paranormal butt-kicking, with a pink taser affectionately named Tasey as a side-kick MUST be awesome, and so Paranormalcy was.

Needless to say (but bam, I just did) I was VERY EXCITED for the sequel, "Supernaturally". It was also awesome. Ohhhh and remember that time I thought there were only going to be two books in this series and then Supernaturally ended and I was like 'WHAT? WHAT? WHAT? THIS IS THE END? NOOOOO.' Fortunately, I looked it up, and I must have been miss-informed. There's another! Endlessly (due out 2012). Anyway, back to the reviewing thing. I was surprised that it didn't start right after Paranormalcy left off but a few months later, however, I didn't mind. It was nice to see how Evie was doing, more acclimated in the 'normal' life that she wanted so badly ('How IS she taking to that?', you ask. Read and find out, why don't you?!?). All of the characters we love are back. Evie and Lend are still all awwwww (with maybe a few bumps in the road...). Emotions ARE running high and there are difficult decisions all over and standing in Evie and other's path. We're also introduced to a hyper-crazy new character, Jack. All I can say is my first impression of him was RIGHT. (Not saying whether that impression was good or bad.) But I was still pretty surprised, well, when I turned out to actually BE right. Very importantly, the sarcasm and sparkles in the epic writing is back-- my favorite part. :)

The bottom line: An epic, shiny, surprising sequel! Readdd ittttt (or Paranormalcy, if you haven't)!!!

Mini Review: "Summer's Crossing" (Iron Fey, 3.5) by Julie Kagawa

(This review is of the 3.5th book in a series, its predecessors are The Iron King, The Iron Daughter, Winter's Passage (2.5) and The Iron Queen. My reviews for those are linked. As always with sequel reviews, minor spoilers might be revealed. YOU ARE WARNED.)
"A Midsummer's Nightmare? Robin Goodfellow. Puck. Summer Court prankster, King Oberon's right hand, bane of many a faery queen's existence—and secret friend to Prince Ash of the Winter Court. Until one girl's death came between them, and another girl stole both their hearts.
Now Ash has granted one favor too many and someone's come to collect, forcing the prince to a place he cannot go without Puck's help—into the heart of the Summer Court. And Puck faces the ultimate choice—betray Ash and possibly win the girl they both love, or help his former friend turned bitter enemy pull off a deception that no true faery prankster could possibly resist.
An ebook exclusive novella from Julie Kagawa's Iron Fey series."-goodreads


I love these mini-adventures between books. As in "Winter's Passage" the adventure isn't necessary to understand the next book (I imagine, I mean, the Iron Knight isn't out yet, so I don't know for sure) but is a little extra bit for anyone who really likes the series. In this one, rather than spending time with Meghan and Ash, we're with Puck and Ash. That was really interesting because although it's been getting better over the course of the books, they kind of hated each other (for understandable reasons, once we know the story). It's from Puck's point of view, which was different. I enjoy Puck's sense of humor and wit, although I'm still firmly Team Ash. Yes, the ice prince. This novella was really good, but at the same time a bit too much of a tease! I can't wait for the Iron Knight to come out, especially now that I've been back to the world of the Iron Fey for a bit. I love Julie Kagawa's writing!
If you've read the rest of the Iron Fey and want to read Summer's Crossing it's a free novella (like was done with Winter's Passage). You can download it for your respective E-Reader or read it online a the website here.

"Imaginary Enemy" by Julie Gonzalez

Dear Bubba,
Remember when I asked you to hook me up with some visibility cream? Well, forget that. I don't need it anymore. Send vanishing cream instead. I really need to disappear.
Insincerely,
Harriet Hairdresser
(Alias Gabriel)

Jane has always survived in the same way.
Being a slacker, being sarcastic, mouthing off, not doing her homework, and writing letters to Bubba.
Bubba?
Short for Beelzebub.

Bubba is her imaginary enemy, and Jane blames him for everything in her life that goes wrong. A milk spill? It's Bubba's fault. Something stupid she says? Bubba put the words in her mouth.
Let's face it. It's just easier to blame everything on someone who doesn't exist, than it is to face up to the things that are going wrong.

And when Jane's relationships with her next door neighbors, with herself, and with her life in general start going downhill, that's exactly who she blames.
Bubba.

But what if she gets a letter back?

"You two little spies really need a new hobby,"   I said, reaching for my math book. "Have you considered stamp collecting? Quilting? Drowning each other?"

This is probably one of the more imaginative books I've read this year. (Get it? Imaginative? heh.) I usually think about imaginary friends, and how they are awesome, but I don't usually consider how the opposite would work. But this author did, and it was very interesting.

I really liked the character of Jane, but I think my absolute favorite character would have to be her half brother, Luke. Luke is a pretty cool guy. (But like I said. I like Jane as well.)

The thing I really didn't like was the main character's reaction to homeschoolers. When her next door neighbors and her brother and sister become homeschooled, she's very negative about it. I also think that the author portrayed homeschoolers in a fairly negative light, but that might just be me and my biased position.

I don't really have much else to say on this book, except that it was very well written, and very, very funny. And witty. The main character's jabs and remarks were just so creative it was hard not for my mind to be boggled.

Oh. And it's a short read. ☺

"The Zombie Survival Guide" by Max Brooks

"Top 10 Lessons for Surviving a Zombie Attack
1. Organize before they rise!
2. They feel no fear, why should you?
3. Use your head: cut off theirs.
4. Blades don’t need reloading.
5. Ideal protection = tight clothes, short hair.
6. Get up the staircase, then destroy it.
7. Get out of the car, get onto the bike.
8. Keep moving, keep low, keep quiet, keep alert!
9. No place is safe, only safer.
10. The zombie may be gone, but the threat lives on."-The Zombie Survival Guide

This book is SERIOUS!! One would probably think that the Zombie Survival Guide is written humorously; in a way that pokes fun at zombies and the possibly coming zombie apocalypse. It’s even shelved in the humor section of the library/book store. Honestly, it seems like it should be shelved with the legit survival manuals, with the way it’s written, and if there was a zombie apocalypse this book would probably be useful.

The guide lays down all the rules. Situations and places to avoid, symptoms of the zombie virus, the best weapons to have, how to zombie-proof your house (or try), the stages of the zombie (from outbreak to takeover!), how to fight them, and ‘historical cases’ of zombie encounters; all to prepare you for when they come (which is inevitable, according to the ‘guide’).

To call it humorous, except occasionally, would be incorrect. It’s not. Not at ALL. It’s dead (living?) serious (see what I did there? Bam.), and very clever. It’s a brilliantly well thought out novel-- that’s what this book had to take. It covers all bases, all aspects of the zombie apocalypse that you never would have thought of, as if it were an actual survival manual. Some people have even gone so far as to call Max Brooks deluded, but I disagree, I think he just crafted a brilliantly well though out book that must’ve required some major brainstorming. When I bought The Zombie Survival Guide I also got Mr. Brook’s other book, World War Z, and look forward to reading that as well.

The bottom line: Legit and filled with zombie-tastic-ness.

"Hourglass" by Myra McEntire

Encounter with Hourglass (random and in second person, filled with randomness and some improper sentences, not at all a 'proper' review):
It’s a month or two before the release date of Hourglass and you’re browsing around goodreads and you spot a pretty nice cover. You click it and look a tad closer. Oh, that’s a nice dress, you think, and the font is kinda fancy pants, in a good way. Woah there, wait a second, shut the front door-- is that the FLOOR on the right side? Meaning she’s walking on the ceiling? What huh? So you read the description. Hm. Time travel. She see’s people from the past. A girl named Emerson? Hmmm. Tres interessant. You add it to your TBR.  Then your hanging around on twitter and you follow the author Myra McEntire and she says a lot of funny stuff and you’re like, hahaha. Then people are saying really awesome shhttuuff about it and then you’re really sold. Fast forward, it comes out, you order the book. It gets to your house and you open the box after taking forever to open the stinkin box because, geez, there’s a lot of tape on that thing. Two things: the book is sparkly and also you touch it and it’s SOFT. It has this weird velvet-y finish thing and it’s cool.
It sits on your shelf for about a month and then you finally go, I must read this shiny/soft book about time travel because you’re a very random mood-reader and a book about time-travel seems pretty cool right now.  Then you start reading. You’re addicted immediately and it’s 400 pages and you think it’s going to take forever but you finish it that night.
Looking back, you realize that when you opened the book you must not have seen the whole picture, you didn’t noticed the beam of light that MUST have been expelled from the pages and the unicorns and rainbows that were dancing around in front of you waving banners that said you’d love it, and you must not have heard the chorus of angels and stuff singing. Because that HAD to have been happening. The sheer awesomeness, you knowww?

So that’s me and my random thought process. I loved it. That was how I chose to convey it. Emerson is awesome and I think a proper way to describe her would be 1) awesome and 2)a cross between Evie from Paranormalcy and Frankie from The Disreputable History of Frankie-Landau Banks. Witty, slightly sarcastic and just humorous. Totally Team Michael, just so you know. Also, time traveling. That’s SO COOL. I haven't read a lot of YA books about time travel. Now I have. It was awesome. I need a sequel. (Right this second.) I realize the above ‘Encounter with Hourglass’ was very dramatized but it was indeed a very good book. :)

"Shelf Life" by Robert Corbet

"Listen," she said, "to be fired from this job you'd have to run naked through the deli with a string of gourmet sausages round your neck. You'd have to cover yourself in cream cheese and dangle a smoked trout between your legs. Even then, they'd just move you to the dairy section. Nobody gets fired form this place. You leave when you're ready to, or else when you die."

Louisa is holding down two jobs, and works every moment. She also happens to be employee of the month.

Adam is a slacker who likes the idea of anarchy and who wants to get fired the moment he arrives at the supermarket.

Jared and Dylan are sharing a secret with a customer in the candy isle.

Chloe might be pregnant, but doesn't know who the father would be. She also quit what would have been her dream job, except for one detail.

Stephen is gone.

Tessa doesn't fit in with the girls, but can't hang out with the guys.

Abdi is finding out just what it feels like to be respected in America.

Rahel is marrying someone she doesn't even know.

Wyn is a human database, who doesn't tell her secrets.

Life working in the supermarket might not be the perfect job, but these teens know how to survive. Yes, that means surviving customers who can't understand why light bulbs keep breaking, or who don't get why long life milk still goes bad. And, yeah, that includes dealing with how to get a girl flowers.. when she works at the flower check out. And maybe it also includes the teens' crazy home lives, though the reasons for those being in the supermarket vary from teen to teen.
All in all, maybe the supermarket is actually giving the teens the "important life skills" they need.
Maybe.

Another worker stopped to see what was going on.
"Andy, this is Andy," said Jared, introducing them.
"I'm Adam."
"My name is Abdi."
Each glanced at the other's  name tag and nodded. Then, together, they all stood and stared at the old man.

I really liked this book. It was funny, witty, and just all around entertaining. After I finished the book, I still wanted to keep reading. Some of the situations in the book that the workers run into were just so completely outrageous, and yet, at the same time, completely plausible.

The only part of this book that I didn't especially like were some of the weird endings for people. Like the fact that you don't ever find out if Chloe is pregnant or not. It's just... kind of weird.

But besides that, I think this book is one of my favorites, and I'd definitely recommend it to most teens.

"City of Bones" (The Mortal Instruments, #1) by Cassandra Clare

“When Clary Fray witnesses three tattoo-covered teenagers murder another teen, she is unable to prove the crime because the victim disappears right in front of her eyes, and no one else can see the killers. She learns that the teens are Shadowhunters (humans who hunt and kill demons), and Clary, a mundie (i.e., mundane human), should not be able to see them either. Shortly after this discovery, her mother, Jocelyn, an erstwhile Shadowhunter, is kidnapped. Jocelyn is the only person who knows the whereabouts of The Mortal Cup, a dangerous magical item that turns humans into Shadowhunters. Clary must find the cup and keep it from a renegade sector of Shadowhunters bent on eliminating all nonhumans, including benevolent werewolves and friendly vampires.”-goodreads

Everyone seems to love The Mortal Instruments series; and everyone and their mother seems to have recommended them to me. (That might be a slight exaggeration. Might.) It’s a very popular series, and I think that’s partly the reason I waited so long to read it-- unfortunately, books don’t always live up to their hype. But, I read Clockwork Angel, the first book in the Infernal Devices; a prelude to TMI. That book was impressive! So eventually, I picked up City of Bones.

City of Bones is indeed a captivating story.  There are kick-butt characters with rather different personalities, and I enjoyed how there were many characters with good development, not just the main character or a few others. I really liked Simon and Clary (not as in a couple, as in, they’re my favorite characters.) It’s definitely a page-turner, I could hardly put it down and finished it in 2 days even though it’s almost 500 pages.

This is that part where I randomly interrupt my own thoughts and go, AWW Jace&Clary. They sounded like great characters/a great couple (are they? Aren’t they? Read the book.) Unfortunately, probably also due to the popularity of the series, I’ve been spoiled everything to do with them, as well as other elements of the series. But I still enjoyed it, although I would’ve liked to be more surprised. (SERIOUSLY, PEOPLE. Spoilers suck. Mark your flipping spoilers. Everyone slips up once in a while, but like, ALL the spoilers with no mark? No. ESPECIALLY FOR SEQUELS.)

"Side Effects" by Amy Goldman Koss

I'd left my notebook and everything in the car, or I might have done a drawing of that weird wire thing with the colored beads, which exists only in doctor's waiting rooms. I wondered what was supposed to be fun about it. All I'd ever want4ed to do was get the beads off the damn thing so I could play with them.
Izzy can't find a single book where the person lives. The person with cancer. The patient. In every single one she finds, they all die at the end. The best she's found is one where the kid gets super powers from the cure.
This is a problem.
Because Izzy has cancer.
After waking up one morning to find that she still has swollen glands from her flu, her world turns upside down. She's rushed to the hospital, and stabbed with a bunch of needles. She's soon part of another world, with it's own slang, with it's own people.
This is her book. Her book about traveling down that path to hell, and then traveling back.

Ah! I thought, This must be the mental illness bonus for kids with chemo cards! Feeling the pain before the stab!

I really liked this book. It was funny, well written, and Izzy had her own voice. She seemed very human, and I could find myself believing that this could actually happen.

I don't have a lot to say on this book (don't hate! It's only 143 pages long!), but I'd definitely recommend it.

"Paranormalcy" (#1) by Kiersten White

"Evie’s always thought of herself as a normal teenager, even though she works for the International Paranormal Containment Agency, her ex-boyfriend is a faerie, she’s falling for a shape-shifter, and she’s the only person who can see through paranormals’ glamours.
But Evie’s about to realize that she may very well be at the center of a dark faerie prophecy promising destruction to all paranormal creatures.
So much for normal."-goodreads

I enjoyed Paranormalcy immensely. It was funny, the characters were great (especially Evie), and the writing was both fast-paced and easy to connect to. Almost immediately after starting it, I was hooked. It was a really quick read, probably because I didn’t want to put it down but also because it was fairly fast-paced (I don’t recall a single slow part), which I enjoyed, and it was just generally easy to read.

Evie was awesome. She kicked those Paranormal’s butts when she needed to and was a strong lead heroine. She was also relatable and funny. As I’ve mentioned before, connecting to the main character is important for me and that happened right away with Evie. The other characters were good too.. Lend was really awesome and sweet. Lish was really funny and a good friend. Lend’s family was very interesting.

The Paranormals were portrayed interestingly in general. They were never what they seemed in small details and big most of the time. I found that whole element really interesting because of the way Evie was with paranormals and the relationships of the paranormals in the book being almost jesting was amusing. The making fun of the stereotypes and such was great. It was interesting to see everyone (except the faeries!) to be cast a different and either loyal or amusing light on. Also, the vampires didn’t sparkle. Points there.

The ending was surprising and an all-around good cliffhanger, and I do look forward to Supernaturally, the sequel, when it comes out in July (hey, can that be moved to tomorrow? Please and thank you!). If you’re looking for a very different kind of paranormal book that’s funny and has a great lead character, then Paranormalcy would be great for you.

"The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks" by E. Lockhart

"Frankie Landau-Banks at age 14:Debate Club.
Her father's "bunny rabbit."
A mildly geeky girl attending a highly competitive boarding school.
Frankie Landau-Banks at age 15:A knockout figure.
A sharp tongue.
A chip on her shoulder.
And a gorgeous new senior boyfriend: the supremely goofy, word-obsessed Matthew Livingston.
Frankie Landau-Banks. No longer the kind of girl to take "no" for an answer.
Especially when "no" means she's excluded from her boyfriend's all-male secret society.
Not when her ex-boyfriend shows up in the strangest of places.
Not when she knows she's smarter than any of them.
When she knows Matthew's lying to her.
And when there are so many, many pranks to be done.
Frankie Landau-Banks, at age 16:Possibly a criminal mastermind.
This is the story of how she got that way."-goodreads

I mean, READ THE DESCRIPTION. Read it. Doesn't that sound witty/epic/amazing? This book is just plain LEGIT. I couldn’t think of a better word for it. I loved pretty much everything about it, and wish I had read it before-- if only because by now I would’ve been on my billionth or so re-read. The characters, the story, and the voice… Just amazing!

The voice. This has to be my favorite thing about the book. It was different than anything else I’ve ever read, so extremely unique. Words! There were word-plays, grammar geeking out, a copy-editor boyfriend, and even out of the story, just the narration, WORDS were used. When I say words I mean peculiar words that you don’t use often, advanced words, whatever you like but the way they were used was awesome. The book was just plain intelligent, without being overly so like it was unrealistic or you have to look up words or something.

The characters. Frankie is awesome. She’s probably my new favorite female protagonist in YA, as well as one I could really identify it. She was sarcastic, intelligent, and ambitious. There are lots of sarcastic/smart/whatever characters in the world but Frankie’s character development was pretty much flawless and I think it was also very realistic. She was very smart but she also seemed like a normal teenager. The other characters were fabulous too, Trisha, Frankie’s roommate was likeable and had a personality although we didn’t see that much of her. When she was around in the story she was really epic because her mom was a psychologist, so whenever she was giving Frankie advice and such she always did everything with psychological stuff and it was fascinating. The boys, the bassets, the dogs, whatever you’d like to call them were great too, all in their own ways.

The story of the bassets and the secret societies and the story of the school was great as well. The school being designed the way it was with its traditions and suitably its secrets or ‘secret organizations’ were good too. All very interesting.

Anyway. Sorry for the huge review but I just didn’t know how else to do this book justice. It was so legitimate. Intelligent, humorous, fascinating, very quirky, just all around a great book!

"Never Slow Dance with a Zombie" by E. Van Lowe

"Principal Taft's 3 Simple Rules for Surviving a Zombie Uprising:
Rule #1: While in the halls, walk slowly and wear a vacant expression on your face. Zombies won't attack other zombies.
Rule #2: Never travel alone. Move in packs. Follow the crowd. Zombies detest blatant displays of individuality.
Rule #3: If a zombie should attack, do not run. Instead, throw raw steak at to him. Zombies love raw meat. This display of kindness will go a long way.
On the night of her middle school graduation, Margot Jean Johnson wrote a high school manifesto detailing her goals for what she was sure would be a most excellent high school career. She and her best friend, Sybil, would be popular and, most important, have boyfriends. Three years later, they haven't accomplished a thing!
Then Margot and Sybil arrive at school one day to find that most of the student body has been turned into flesh-eating zombies. When kooky Principal Taft asks the girls to coexist with the zombies until the end of the semester, they realize that this is the perfect opportunity to live out their high school dreams. All they have to do is stay alive...."-goodreads

This book was very peculiar. If I was required to give my opinion of it in three words I would say "Surprisingly, bizarrely epic!". I had no expectations whatsoever of this book (nothing against the author or anything, I don't mean it like that); I'd never seen or heard of it before the book fair where I picked it up at and the description reads like a middle-grade geek to popular and all of a sudden it's perfect world type of book. So often when I have pre-conceived ideas about books (or anything, really, I suppose) I am wrong. This one, I was wrong simply because I underestimated it.

Never Slow Dance with a zombie starts out and basically the main character just wants to be popular and she has one of those super nice, very sensible, best friends. I kind of went... oh... no.... but then, on top of the lessons you would think would come along with a book like this, it was sooo funny. At the beginning I was just like... how could that happen? With the zombies taking over the school and everything and no one even knows why/how/etc...? But then I went... duh. I'm over thinking this. Of course I'm not supposed to believe it, this book is supposed to be fun and funny, regardless of its plausibility!

That being said, Never Slow Dance with A Zombie was hilarious! It was very peculiar (I don't want to call it weird. I've been calling a lot of really dark books weird and this one is anything but). I thought it would be very gory because it's about zombies and it wasn't (not that I would have minded, heh heh). The whole situation the school was in was really amusing. The characters were good, as I said, I really liked Sybil. The geeks were funny. Also, that ONE girl that wasn't really a zombie... I saw that coming. In a good way.

Chicks with Sticks (It's a Purl Thing) by Elizabeth Lenhard

"Oooh, check out the badass knitter." Tay laughed. "Keep her away from any spray-pant cans, you guys. She's gonna start leaving tags in alleys."
Scottie straightened up suddenly.
"You just gave me another idea," she said.
"Oh no," Tay said, flinging her stripy scarf around her neck. "No more! I've had all the bonding I can handle for one night."
What do you do when your best friend seems to have totally turned on you?
What do you do when your favorite aunt has just died?
What do you do when your mom and dad are distant, and look through you not at you?
What do you do when your life is falling apart?

These are the questions Scottie has to ask herself. She doesn't really have any answers, until her great aunt teaches her to knit. Suddenly, even though she's labeled as a geek, a nerd, and undesirable, everything seems to be okay. It's like the yarn and the needles are magic. Or maybe it's just KnitWit, the knitting shop she starts taking lessons at.
But whatever is magic, there certainly seems to be some.
When Amanda starts knitting with Scottie too, and they are joined by two new friends, Tay and Bella, everything seems to be going right for Scottie.
But how long can the knitting keep it's magic?
Bella lowered her hand and allowed herself a little smile.
"Thanks, you guys," she squeaked. "This stuff would be twice as scary without you. I mean, I feel like I don't even know who I am all of a sudden. But I also have this incredible urge to figure it out, like, immediately."
I, personally, found this book incredibly entertaining.
It was witty, funny, interesting... The knitting terms were completely correct, and I loved the way that the author made everything seem so serious, at the same time that the book itself didn't exactly seem to take itself seriously.

The only few problems I had with this book were that (a) I'm not exactly sure I liked how the author portrayed homeschoolers (Bella is a homeschooler. Bella is also a nutjob.), and (b) I found a lot of the "no one is seeing me as myself!" things annoying, when none of the characters were actually acting like themselves.

But besides that, I liked this book. I'd give it 3 stars, and recommend it in particular to female teen knitters. ;)

"It's a Mall World After All" by Janette Rallison

Chapter two of my dissertation: "You Can Meet All Sorts of Interesting People at the Mall." Don't talk to them though, as this just encourages them to talk back to you. Talking leads to trouble. Most wars, divorces, and political elections happen after a lot of talking. When at the mall, it's best to pretend you're mute. Or from another country. A country of mutes, for example.
Charlotte has learned a lot from working at the mall. From her position as the "perfume-lady"... the person who spritzes pointless perfume on people... she can see half way across the entire mall. She's learned that "Relationships with guys are a lot like shopping." She's learned to tell who is depressed and who's planning to win the lottery to get by in life... just by what they buy at the mall.
She's also learned that her best friend Brianna's boyfriend is cheating on her.
Charlotte goes and tells her friend, and at first it looks like it'll all end out well enough. Brianna will dump the jerk, and Charlotte with be hailed as a hero.
Uh... until Bryant (the cheating boyfriend) somehow convinces Brianna that it was all just a big misunderstanding.
Suddenly, Charlotte's the enemy, but she's not about to just sit there and let Bryant get away with it. Why would she? She knows the truth. She's going to get the moral high ground... no matter what.
The problem is, everyone seems to be against her. Evidence keeps piling up in both her favor, and Bryants, and with Bryant's best friend, Colton, aiming to keep Charlotte from finding out the truth, the job's harder than she thought.
Luckily, Charlotte's prepared.
Colton leaned toward me across the table. "Yes, we know what service projects are," he said, "because you keep making us do them. This year alone we've bought books for the library, done a canned food drive, and volunteered at a soup kitchen, where-I might add- some homeless women tried to hit on me."
"She was a harmless old lady," I said.
"She told me I was the reincarnation of her dead husband, kept calling me Phil, and tried to follow me home."
This book had the most stupid premise ever. I picked it up at the library and went, "wow. That sounds stupid." But I had read My Fair Godmother, by Janette Rallison, and even though it was going against my better book judgment, I brought it home.
And wow, I'm glad I did.
This book, although it didn't have the most promising premise, was funny, witty, and interesting. (As my mom would say, "Good writing makes up for a bad premise.") I would give this book five stars, and definitely recommend it to a girl who needs a laugh. :)

"Gossip From the Girls Room" by Rose Cooper

"Gossip from the Girls’ Room fills readers in on all there is to learn about middle school life at Middlebrooke, where Sofia has her very own blog and discusses all the juicy gossip that comes out of the Girls’ room; read along to find out just what happens when class is not in session.
 In Sofia's words . . .
Mia St. Claire is only the most popular girl in all of Middlebrooke Middle School. For three very obvious reasons:
1. She's very rich.
2. She has tons of money.
3. She can buy anything and everything she wants. And she does.
I'm sure people like her for other reasons too, but none of those reasons are obvious enough for me to really know. Or care about, for that matter." -from Goodreads

"Gossip from the Girls Room" is a cute little book. It's the notebook of Sofia Becker, who has a unique voice, and a good way to convey here feelings and opinions- as well as all the gossip at school, in the notebook. It's filled with amusing doodles which really just emphasize the funny bits of the book. The doodles are also cute in that they are unique, with kind of a school girl doodle style with a touch of japanese manga type of flair (ex.. the big eyes in her drawings of people). This book has a nice story where Sofia learns some important lessons about gossip- including the fact that she can hurt people, it's not always true, things aren't always what they seem to be (and neither are people) and she also naturally and importantly learned how it felt to be the talk of the halls, whether because of her mom teaching, or because she was actually the daughter of the mom everyone was talking about because of well something. I don't want to spoil everything. I also liked how author Rose Cooper managed to really inhibit the 5th or 6th graders mind (in my opinion) with Sofia.This book was a bit young for me, but that's a personal thing- and it was a nice book-. I also liked that it reminded me of when I was younger and used to read those American Girl "Amelia's Notebook" books. 4 stars for something I think 10,11,12 year olds will really enjoy.

If you would like to learn more about "Gossip From the Girls Room" go to author Rose Cooper's blog: here.
Thank you Random House for sending me this book to review.
Reader's note: THIS REVIEW IS BIASED IN NO WAY by being sent a review copy. Real Opinions=ForTheWin.